Giving Up Driving - When Your Sight Starts to go Your Car Has To Go

For 80 years I had really good eyesight. My children were very pleased for me that it was so good but would occasionally say it wasn't fair that they had contact lenses and reading glasses at their ages while I could still see signs way off in the distance when driving, recognise a friend walking up Guildford High Street from way off and only needed weak reading glasses in poor light.

But things change. If you stick around long enough, your sight starts to fail.

I started having a few odd visual effects around the time I turned 80 - little blue dots everywhere in the morning - and began to have trouble seeing detail in the distance. Like a car coming if I was cossing the road. I saw the optician a couple of times and my doctor referred me to en eye clinic and the people there hummed and ha-ed a bit and eventually told my doctor, after a few months, to tell me to stop driving.

When he told me he looked very apologetic. He knows I have a very active life, go out with friends a lot, visit my daughters and grandchildren, and he knew how important the car was to me.

I had to accept that he said I simply wasn't able to drive legally any more, and I don't think he was suggesting I drive illegally. When you've been driving for sixty odd years, being told you're becoming a danger to yourself and others and have to stop is upsetting. I won't say I cried a bit when I got home, but I won't say I didn't either.

After I got over the emotional side of it, the practical hassles of giving up driving started to hit me. How would I get around? I live outside Guildford and go into town to shop. I go out to see friends a lot. I needed to drive to see my kids and grandchildren. How would I get to the airport for holidays? How would I get to the pub for a pub lunch with friends?

I called one of my daughters and told her the terrible news. "The doctor says I have to give up my car. I have to stop driving."

I think she was shocked to. Both my daughters are used to mum being fairly independent. I listed all the things I wouldn't be able to do until she stopped me and said we should look at it differently.

Firstly, she told me to accept it. It was better to give up driving than to hit a car or pedestrian or be hit because I couldn't see as well as I used to. I had to agree with that. Then she reminded me I have plenty of friends who still drive and will help me get about. Next, she said I should think about the money I'd save on petrol, road tax and car insurance - and the money I'd get for the car - and I could put all that this year to taxis.

'You hate parking and you like a drink with lunch or dinner' she said. 'That means you're absolutely made for taxis. Once you get used to callings cabs you'll really like going out without bothering about the car.'

It was just a matter of getting organised, she said. Also, she said, 'You're over 80, mum - you should get some free transport - travel on the buses, and maybe there are council-run services too?'

I told her I'd work on all that. Which I did. The next day I rang her back with quite a lot of news. 'I'm not sure I've accepted giving up the car' I said 'but I've done some sums and research and here's what I've found.'

I'd calculated how much I could put towards taxis. If I sold the car, and since I'd save the road tax and insurance and payments for servicing, I'd be able to afford quite a lot of taxis. I'd rung the local council and they told me about a cheap service for oldies, 'Dial a Ride', which I could book to go substantial distances. If I wanted to go to Wisley Gardens with a friend then I could book Dial a Ride and travel there and back for a few pounds (which I have done since.) I don't know if Dial a Ride is a service local to Guildford funded by the council or if all councils provide the same sort of service as a national thing.

I'd also looked at ordering groceries and household stuff online from supermarkets for free deliveries. I live in a second floor flat so, for some time, it's been a bit of a nuisance carrying bags of shopping up the stairs. I stop on each landing to get my breath back a bit and then carry on. Maybe it was time to order online and get free home deliveries. I haven't done this yet but I know what's involved and may do it at some point

And lastly but most importantly I told my boyfriend/partner, Bryan, and all my friends. 'I have to stop driving - what will I do?' They all rallied round, as we all always do all rally round when any one of us has a problem. One would take me into Guildford shopping once a week. One would pick me up for the weekly pub quiz. Another would collect me for our dinner out every week.

I began to feel it would all work out.

It's been the best part of a year now since I gave up driving. I can't say I miss it. Sometimes it's a nuisance when you just want to hop in the car and go to the library or visit a friend. But mostly it just takes a bit of organisation. With good friends who help and with free buses, (expensive) taxis and Dial a Ride, life without the car is not nearly as awkward as I feared. I love not having to find a parking place and reverse wonkily into it. I love being able to have a glass of wine without wondering if I'm over the drink-drive limit. One friend, Rosemary, has made it a weekly outing for us both to go to Sainsburys and shop. We take our time and have a coffee and it's lovely to see her and chat as well as get the shopping done.

Today I'm going with one of my daughters to a lovely old pub in Shere, the White Horse, for lunch. I've booked a dial-a-ride vehicle and the driver will drop us off at midday and collect us after 2pm. I'll be able to share a bottle of wine with my daughter over lunch and neither of us will have to worry about drinking and driving. Since dial a ride fares are so cheap, getting to Shere and back will only cost a few pounds.

I suppose we all fear change as we get older. Sometimes you just have to accept it. I had a cataract operation which helped my sight for a while but I can't seem to find any treatment for the macular degeneration which put an end to my driving. Once I'd accepted I wouldn't drive again, I could get on with looking for alternatives that work.

Still I did laugh when I read that Tony Curtis's wife said at his funeral that he objected strongly to being made to stop driving. Right up to his death, she said, he was looking for ways to get his driving licence back!